I am heartbroken. Tonight I can't sleep, my good friend called me tonight to tell me the Dr's told her today she is no longer a candidate for the surgery to remove her tumor from her abdominal wall. It has metastasized to her lungs, and other parts of her body. (she did not specify and I didn't ask, we have known each other many years, it was too painful to get the details. She was crying, and I was trying to be strong for her while she talked).
Donna has been a friend to me for many many years. She and I knew each other when our kids were very small. I think Karen was 7 or 8 when we met, Karen is now 30. Donna is one of the sweetest, kindest people you would ever meet, one of the meak that the bible speaks about. She taught me to hold your tongue in anger, for those words can never be retrieved, or the pain that they caused reversed. (Good lesson to learn from a girl who was raised on harsh, bitter words and a heavy dose of unforgiveness for any wrongoing.)
She was adopted by wonderful people and grew up an only child. She has survived one cancer, to be diagnosed with a totally different kind recently. After undergoing 3 chemo treatments, her Dr. had to tell her she was not responding as they had hoped to the treatment, the chemo would be reduced, given more frequently as palliative treatment, because the tumor had spread. I listened to her talk, and then hung up. I have been making beads, quietly thinking about the impact this would have to me and my life. I just broke down and cried a good cry, then decide to share it all with you here, with her permission of course.
I love that gal like family, I will not stop praying for her, if God wants to use her as a tool to practice a miracle, I am not going to argue, but embrace His decision, which means I will get my wish to have her remain with me on this earth.
If He chooses to take her, then I will relish in the Glory of Him taking home one of His own, she is willing to go, as she is a born again Christian, understanding an early end to this physical life only means a return to Him in our kingdom home. I am selfish enough I want a miracle, but that is me, I am a selfish kind of person, only thinking of my own needs. I will not accept her staying in a body wracked with pain and suffering, it wouldn't be fair.
Please help me to pray for her, thank you.